The assumption of sex can be a killer

Sex assumption can completely kill your chances and ability of having amazing sex. I’d like to first paint a picture of where amazing sex happens *without* the assumption in order to better highlight where the assumption of sex can be a killer.

When you first are seeing someone *before* you have had sex for the first time, no matter how clear it is that you are going to sleep together, there is always a little doubt, the possibility that things are going to change and that the sex will not happen. Let’s take a near iron clad example. You meet someone through f-buddy and you have chatted online. You decide to meet in person – and in this case you already know that s/he is up for sex because frankly everyone on this website wants to get laid. You meet in person and you get on great! You fancy them and they fancy you – all good. You talk, have a few drinks, and when you then invite them back to yours for a coffee – they say yes. So you walk through your front door...

...now at this point you can be 99.9% certain that you are getting laid. You met them on a “get sex” website, you fancy each other and s/he has come back to yours for “coffee”. Despite all of this, on some level you do not assume that it is definitely going to happen, there is time for it to change.

Fast forward 6 months, and you are seeing the person regularly, it is still new and exciting. You have slept together multiple times, you are super comfortable with each other, and when you send a booty call text message out, and they respond positively, you *know* that you are getting laid that night. Yet when you meet, the sex is still not assumed. There is still an excitement at having it, attentiveness to the other person that you are having it with. This helps to keep it good.

2 years later and now real assumption has kicked in. You meet, before going to the bedroom you have a bedtime routine, you brush your teeth, set the alarm, you tidy your stuff. You climb into bed with the person next to you... and you so easily could just go to sleep. Perhaps you do sleep with each other or not, but if you do it is just an assumption because you happen to be in the same bed together. The sex takes place out of circumstance, convenience, the logistics make it happen. They are no longer the person you started having sex with, and nor are you.

Watch out for the assumption it will kill your sex life.