We are now in the year 2020. The new decade has arrived and things have permanently changed in the way that we communicate in comparison to a couple of decades ago. The number of phone calls that we make has dropped dramatically, replaced by other forms of communication. The number of emails we send has jumped. Easy access to data now means that the number of SMS messages that are sent have also dropped having been replaced by messaging via apps such as Facebook messenger or WhatsApp (which is also owned by Facebook). People are reaching out to other services, such as Telegram or Signal, but essentially these are simply a more secure form of WhatApp.
The expectations of these forms of messaging has also changed. We are now connected 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to all our digital forms of communication via our smart phones. This means that people always expect a prompt reply… which always pushes us to also feel obliged to give a prompt reply. This is particularly difficult when it comes to work emails, which leaves us checking work emails even at weekends and evenings. Work emails generally come alongside a certain amount of pressure and stress. Depending on your work, this could be just a very small amount of stress, or if you are in a fast paced high pressure city job, this could be a lot more. Stress is one of the things that supress out libido and desire for sex, so regularly dosing yourself with stress in this way is not helpful to your sex life.
More that this, using your phone takes you away from being in the moment and with the people that you are with. You may be flirting with someone and things are all going well. Checking your phone regularly tells the person that someone who isn’t even there is more interesting than them. It is not a good way to build rapport!
Even in a long-term relationship or with an established fuck buddy, pulling out your phone pulls your consciousness to another place, to somewhere else. It is hard to build up a sexy vibe with someone when you are checking Facebook every few minutes.
So, try putting your phone away if you want to have more sex. Pressing the off button on your phone for an evening is a great way to bring you back into the moment. The more you are truly present with the other person, the more you can and will build intimacy with them and the more likely you are to have sex.
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