The S&M scene is heating up as the summer draws to a close (technically summer was officially over last weekend but you wouldn’t think that considering the temperatures the UK has had over the past week). Fetish shops, Kinky parties and BDSM workshops are in full flow attracting both newbies and veterans alike.
Whatever your pleasure there is always some important safety tips you need to remember in order to get the most out of your experience. Follow them and you can be guaranteed no mishaps and some seriously pleasurable sex.
Top Safety Tips from the Experts
1. Learn to be comfortable saying ‘No’
Esinem a renowned Japanese Rope bondage expert who travels the world teaching the art and application of Japanese Rope Tying always teaches his classes to say ‘no’ when something becomes uncomfortable or painful. You must learn to say ‘no’ to prevent any injuries or emotional distress.
2. Learn as the other party to be comfortable when someone says ‘No’
This goes hand in hand with the first tip and is quoted by Kitty Stryker – a sex worker and performer. Stryker is keen to highlight that if someone has said ‘no’ and the other person says something like ‘Aww! That’s okay!’ this implies that it is not okay. If someone has said ‘no’ then a good response would be to say something like ‘I’m glad and thankful that you take care of yourself’. This is nice and indicates to the other person that you respect their decision and body.
3. If you fuck up, own up
Many BDSM experts admit that at some point they have broken consent with a partner. Whereas the undisciplined and amoral pressure their partners to keep quiet about it, the truly decent ones own up and admit when they’ve made a mistake. If you take things too far, admit you made a total fuck up afterward. Trying to hide a mistake is cowardly and nasty. Don’t do it.
4. It’s not a challenge or a tick list
Kink and BDSM in general is not something that you should consider goal orientated. You should not be making a list of things you have to try and do. It is something that you should play with and learn naturally what you like and don’t like. Do not pressure a partner to do something just because you want to tick it off your list. Don’t even have a list!
5. Talk about sex after the encounter
Not every BDSM encounter ends with sex, but the ones that do can often lead to a silence amongst many newbies. It’s important to talk about sex after you’ve had it. This allows both parties to ask questions like ‘Did you like it when I did this?’ and ‘You were screaming in pain at this point? Did you want me to stop or carry on?’ Good communication is key to a great BDSM encounter.
For more information…
There are a number of different resources online where you can found out more about the kink and BDSM community and the various rules and safety tips they all recommend. We have included the top ones that nearly every community advocates but we do suggest looking deeper into the community if you want to get more involved.
Happy fucking!
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