"I wish [BDSM folks] would stop referring to me as 'vanilla.' If you're making the case that everyone should be free to do what they like without being judged, why call non-BDSM people a derogatory name that implies they're all prudish bores?" – Anonymous, commenter on Bitch.
You read a lot online and off about vanilla sex vs kinky sex. It seems to me that if you’re not that interested in the more heavy kinky stuff, you get judged for either being a prude or just inexperienced. As you can see from the comment above, I’m not alone in my theory. I’m here to tell you that vanilla sex is okay. I’m here to tell you that vanilla sex is good. I’m here to tell you that vanilla sex is fun! So why do the BDSM Brigade insist on sneering at and dismissing anyone who’s into vanilla sex? It’s especially annoying when you take into account this remark from Andrea Dworkin.
"Those of us who have different notions of eroticism and sensuality are simply dismissed. The pejorative word [being] 'vanilla,' which is ironically, one of the most sensual aromas."
Andrea is right. Vanilla has lasted for a good reason: people like it.
Don’t judge
If you are into BDSM or extremely kinky sex, that’s great! In my view whatever helps you enjoy your time in the bedroom without hurting anyone is fine by me. But if you insist on judging other people by your own sexual standards, then I’m afraid you need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. People are different and have different ways of enjoying sex. So what if I don’t like being tied up and hung from a ceiling? At least I can have an orgasm without the need for dozens of chains, whips, bull gags and ropes. You see how the insults can work both ways?
So to the BDSM groupies I have one message for you; what you do is great! I admire it and I respect you for it. But please remember that not everyone is like you and ‘vanilla sex’ is more enjoyable for some people then kinky sex.
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