Long Term Fuck Buddy?

It’s funny but we’ve had a lot of questions about the length of a normal fuck buddy relationship here at f-buddy. You’ll find hundreds of articles and posts online all agreeing that casual sex relationships rarely last longer then 6 months at the maximum. Any longer and then you’re basically in a relationship.

Well we’re here to admit and to tell you that all those articles and posts are dead wrong.

Here’s why.

A long term fuck buddy

A year ago I was seeing two girls on a casual basis at the same time for a period of about four months. I thought life couldn’t get any better then this! I remember one week where I stayed round one girl’s house (29, cute, smart, big boobs, just under 5 foot), had sex with her for virtually the whole night and then the next day have the other girl come round (23, about 5 foot 2, petite, blonde) to mine late afternoon and spent the rest of that day having sex with her.

I was knackered.

But I sure had one big happy smile on my face.

Now here’s where these relationships (and it’s fair to call even a casual sex relationship a relationship…even though it is casual) differed slightly. The 29 year old had been married when she was younger and was in the process of divorcing her husband. She had gone through all the emotional trauma and had come out the other side remarkably healthy and happy and extremely horny. That girl has one of the highest sex drives I’ve ever had the fortune to experience in a woman. And boy is she not afraid to show it.

The 23 year old on the other hand was another kettle of fish entirely. I’d met her at a writers group I used to go to (we writers have to socialise too you know) and had been ignoring the looks and stares she’d apparently been giving me for weeks – I was a bit thick and hadn’t noticed. Eventually one night I asked her out for a drink after the group broke up and we ended up back at mine the same night following some very heavy groping and kissing in the bar.

The sex was great and she also had a massively high sex drive (Note to men: if you think women don’t like and want sex as much as us, you’re completely wrong; they like and want it more!), not to mention a very tight pussy.

So there I am; in a casual fuck buddy relationship with two women. I should point out at this point that I had been entirely honest with both of them saying that I wasn’t looking for a committed long term relationship and wanted to carry on seeing other people as well as them. They both said this was fine and said they appreciated my honesty. Everything was great. Until that it is one month down the line I got a phone call from the 23 year old.

She wanted to ‘talk about where our relationship was going’. She wanted to let me know that she had almost drunkenly slept with a random guy she’d met at a party the weekend before but didn’t because she wanted to clarify what kind of relationship we had at the time.

I was confused.

I pointed out to her that I thought I had already made that clear to her and that if she wanted to sleep with other people, she should. We weren’t mutually exclusive and I thought I had made that clear. She said I hadn’t and then I got really confused and spent another half an hour re-explaining things. She said I had lied to her and convinced her that we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend even though I had never hinted at all to that.

Anyway eventually I got bored and pissed off with her accusing me of things I hadn’t done and told her I wasn’t going to be bribed or blackmailed into apologising for something I wasn’t responsible for.

Her attitude changed instantly and she apologised to me and then said she was dealing with some personal issues that had nothing to do with me.

Then she said she didn’t give a shit about having a relationship but that she wanted to sleep with me a lot.

That was when I said I didn’t think it was a good idea. And the reason I didn’t think it was a good idea was because if she behaved that immaturely emotionally now, what would she be like another few months down the line?

The 29 year old on the other hand was wonderful! At one point she wanted to be exclusive as well but was open and honest about it with me and after I’d said I wasn’t sure I could do that just then, she just accepted it and said it was a relief and that she would still like to carry one sleeping together when we met up and if neither of us was in a monogamous relationship with someone else.

And we did for over a year.

The Points of Difference
You can be 18 and have the wisdom and soul of someone much much older. You can be 45 and act like an emotional fuck wit. My point is everyone is different when it comes to casual sex and relationships and will react differently. But what I learned is that if both parties are emotionally mature enough to realise that they can have sex together over a long period of time without feelings of jealousy, mistrust and resentment surfacing, then yes it is possible to do.

Just make sure you are both on the same page emotionally, and you should be fine.

Happy Fucking!